


The Way I Remember You

by violeinne



Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: AU, F/M, Gen, What-If, slight AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:02:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27686638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violeinne/pseuds/violeinne
Summary: When Kairi reveals that Namine has disappeared from her heart, Roxas sets out on his own to find her and bring her back.Set after Re:Mind and during Melody of Memory, in a slight AU where Namine doesn't return with everybody else after Re:Mind.
Relationships: Naminé/Roxas (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 13
Kudos: 22





	1. Chapter 1

_Something is wrong._

_I can feel it._

_I’m calling out, but there’s no response._

_Where are you?_

* * *

“What do you mean Namine is gone?”

The words echoed in the empty space of Ansem the Wise’s lab. Kairi, sitting on the reclining seat in the center of the room, only looked down at her hands.

“Exactly what I said.” Kairi’s head was bowed, her eyes shadowed. “Ever since I came back, I haven’t been able to feel her presence in my heart. I’ve tried reaching out to her so many times, but there’s nothing…just silence.”

Riku’s face was solemn, and Xion’s was tearful. Roxas was speechless. He had been wondering why Kairi had called the four of them together, and that’s when he realized the one thing they all had in common was that they knew Namine.

Riku was the first to speak. “What do you think happened to her?”

Kairi shook her head helplessly. “I don’t know. When the Demon Tide took us all, Sora told me that he was able to meet Namine’s heart, that she said she would return to my heart once we were back. But Xehanort shattering my heart must have done something more than just separating us. It might have…shattered her too. Damaged her too badly to find her way back to me.”

A heavy silence followed these words. The blue fluorescent lights of the lab suddenly felt cold, as if a shadow had passed over the sun. Roxas had never liked Ansem the Wise’s lab–it reminded him too much of DiZ’s lab in Twilight Town–and he shivered. 

He and Xion has been surprised when they got the message that Kairi wanted to talk to them. She was about to be put in a deep sleep so Ienzo, Even, and Ansem the Wise could search her memories for a clue about Sora’s whereabouts. Roxas had never spoken to Kairi much, and neither had Xion. He’d thought maybe she wanted to ask them about Sora. It had been several weeks since Sora disappeared, and everyone was doing something to help find him. Scarcely a thought had been spared for Namine, who everybody had assumed was still safe in Kairi’s heart. Until now.

“Why didn’t you tell us earlier?” Roxas demanded, trying and failing to keep his voice even.

“Roxas, don’t yell at her,” said Xion. 

“I thought maybe I could find a way to connect to her again myself, but it didn’t work. And now that I’m going to be sleeping for a while, I couldn’t keep it a secret any longer.” A tear glittered in the corner of Kairi’s eye before falling. “I’m sorry. It was my job to keep her safe and I failed.”

“No! No, Kairi, I’m sorry I yelled.” The sight of her tears made Roxas feel absurdly guilty. “It’s not your fault.”

Riku put a hand on Kairi’s shoulder reassuringly. “It’s ok, Kairi. We’ll find Namine, just like we’ll find Sora. You just focus on doing your part here for now.”

At that moment Ienzo, Even, and Ansem the Wise came in. It was time for Kairi to go to sleep. Abruptly, Roxas turned and left the room. 

Striding through the halls of Ansem’s castle, Roxas’s mind was in a tumult. Riku had said they’d find Namine, but when? After they found Sora? Who knows how long that would take? It didn’t seem fair to make Namine wait even longer.

The sound of footsteps running up after him made Roxas turn his head sharply, but it was just Xion. She wasted no time. “You’re going to look for Namine on your own aren’t you?”

The directness of her words startled him. “Well…yeah. How did you know?”

Xion rolled her eyes. “Who do you think you’re talking to?”

Roxas had to chuckle sheepishly. “Yeah, alright. Look, there’s plenty of people working on finding Sora. They won’t miss just one person trying to find Namine.”

“Three people,” Xion corrected him. “If you’re going, I’m going. And you know Axel would never let us out of his sight so you might as well throw him in there too.”

She was right, of course. Axel only had one objection. “How are you going to get around? None of us can open corridors of darkness anymore, and we don’t have fancy Keyblade armor or gliders.”

Roxas was ready for that. “We can take the gummi ship. I’ll ask the King, he won’t mind.”

And that was how Roxas, Axel, and Xion ended up sitting in the gummi ship cockpit, with Roxas in the driver’s seat. Axel leaned back in his seat. “I hope you know how to fly this thing.”

“Just give me a minute, alright?” Roxas folded his arms and tried to think of what to do. Now that he was doing it, Roxas realized he had no plan whatsoever. He tried to remember what Mickey had told him about using the gummi ship. Something about your heart as your guiding key?

Oh, and use the Keyblade to open the gate to the world you wanted to visit. That part was important.

Closing his eyes, Roxas pictured the world he wanted in his mind’s eye. The details came to him slowly at first, then all at once. As his memory of the place rushed to the front of his mind, he felt a surge of energy run through him, the image clarifying until it shone brightly in his mind. 

“That’s it!” Summoning his Keyblade in a flash of light, Roxas pointed it into the void of the Ocean Between. A beam of light burst from the end, opening a keyhole shaped gate. Roxas fell back down into his seat and grabbed the gummi ship controls. 

_Hang on, Namine. We’re on our way._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, I'm back with my second Kingdom Hearts fic, and it's a multi-chapter fic this time! As ever, it's just me indulging in my favorite KH ship, RokuNami~ This is planned to be a five or six chapter story, and I have pretty much the whole thing planned out so from here it's just a question of me writing it. I'm pretty busy with school but I'm aiming to get a chapter out every week and a half or so.
> 
> A quick note about the timeline placement/AU of this story: it takes place with the assumption that after Re:Mind, Sora disappeared sooner than he does in the final cutscene, so Riku and Kairi started the search for Sora without trying to bring back Namine first. Otherwise everything from the end of KH3 and Re:Mind is the same.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, and if you liked it, please consider following me on twitter @violeinne, where I talk about fandom stuff and post fanart as well!


	2. Chapter 2

“This isn’t what I expected,” said Xion.

Looking up, Roxas had to agree. The last time he’d seen Castle Oblivion, it had been a dull gray-brown color, the color of age old rust. The dark swirling clouds that hovered over the castle towers blocked out any light, and the mountain that the castle stood on was gray and barren rock.

The castle in front of them was pristine and brilliant, the white and gold facade gleaming in the sun. The wings of the building spread out as if suspended by magic, all perched atop a grassy mountaintop. Several feet from where they had landed, a Keyblade was planted blade first in the ground, adorned with a wreath of flowers. Sunlight winked off a trio of wayfinders, sending blue, green, and orange light dancing. 

“Sooo…where exactly are we?” asked Axel.

“It was supposed to be Castle Oblivion,” said Roxas quietly, still looking up at the castle. “Ienzo told me that when Nobodies get recompleted they reappear in the world they were born in. So I thought Castle Oblivion might be a good place to start.”

“Well, this sure isn’t Castle Oblivion.”

“Thanks Axel, I’m aware of that.”

“You’re only half right.”

Roxas, Axel, and Xion turned simultaneously to see Aqua coming up the path behind them. Roxas didn’t know Aqua very well, just that she was a Keyblade master and friends with Terra and Ventus. She was undoubtedly skilled with a Keyblade, but she had a somewhat annoying way of looking at him with a protectiveness in her eyes that Roxas thought bordered on patronizing.

“What do you mean?”

“This world is The Land of Departure. It turned into Castle Oblivion when I sealed the keyhole of the world ten years ago. It was to keep Ven safe, and to make sure nobody–“ she flashed a sideways glance at Axel, “–could ever learn the secrets of this world that were only ever handed down from Keyblade master to Keyblade master.”

Axel raised his hands in mock surrender. “If you’re referring to what my old friends in the black coats and I were doing, I was just following orders. I had a role to play in the Organization, you know.”

“When we came to wake Ven, I unsealed the keyhole and the world turned back into The Land of Departure. Castle Oblivion is gone.” Aqua’s eyes searched each one of them in turn. “Why are you looking for it?”

“We’re looking for a girl named Namine,” said Xion quickly, before Axel or Roxas could open their mouths again. “Looking for where her heart might be, at least. She was born in this world when it was Castle Oblivion, so we thought we might find a clue here.”

Aqua shook her head. “This is the world I grew up in. I know every corner of it, and I haven’t noticed anything unusual or out of place.”

Roxas was not deterred. “Can we go inside? I might be able to find something if I look myself.”

“Be my guest.” Taking the lead, Aqua led the trio inside. With its gleaming floors and the warm light flooding in through the windows, it couldn’t be more different from cold, sterile air of Castle Oblivion. 

“What do you think?” Roxas asked Xion under his breath as they walked through the empty halls. 

Xion shook her head. “I don’t feel anything. This place is completely different from Castle Oblivion. I don’t think it’s familiar enough for Namine’s heart to come back here.”

Roxas had a feeling that Xion was right, but didn’t want to give up before he was certain. “Let’s split up. Xion and I will each search half the castle, and Axel, can you cover the grounds?”

“You got it, boss.” Xion nodded affirmation, and the three went their separate ways.

As he made his way through the floors, Roxas tried to keep his mind and heart open, sensitive to any flicker of feeling that might indicate Namine’s presence somewhere in the castle. But try as he might, he felt nothing. 

The halls of the castle seemed to go on forever, and Roxas kept climbing stairs that felt endless. All the floors in the castle looked the same to him. Halfway through a hallway, he stopped and looked out the window. Outside, the mountains stretched away into the clear blue sky, unending. Who knew how far this world went? Was every world this infinite?

Now that he had a moment to himself, the full weight of what he had set out to do was creeping down on Roxas. He was realizing now he had no idea where he should be looking, how he should be looking, or if he was on the right path at all. He’d jumped headlong into the search with no plan, no leads beyond his own instincts, and no other information.

Of course, this wasn’t a life or death situation. He could turn back at any time, give up the search and wait until he could make a plan with Riku and the others. 

He just hated the idea of leaving Namine out there, broken and alone, too much to stay still.

“Roxas?”

Roxas turned to see a too-familiar blond head poking out of a door. “Hey, Ventus.”

“What are you doing here?” Ventus ran up to him. “Did Aqua invite you? Or Terra?”

“No, I came on my own. With Xion and Axel.” Roxas had to avert his eyes. He’d never felt very comfortable around Ventus. It wasn’t personal, but seeing his own face on another body was too disconcerting for him to tolerate for very long. Once, when he’d mentioned this to Axel and Xion, Axel had pointed out that technically it was Roxas who had Ventus’s face since Ventus was the one who came first. That hadn’t helped.

“Oh, cool. What for?” Ventus’ eyes shone with interest. Roxas had never met someone who radiated such perpetual cheer and enthusiasm. It was as if his doppelganger was an excitable puppy.

“Uh…” The thought of having to explain everything about Namine did not appeal to Roxas. “I’m...looking for a friend.”

“A friend? I don’t think there’s been anybody besides me, Aqua, and Terra here. Are you sure you’re in the right place?”

Roxas looked down at the ground. “I don’t know,” he admitted.

“Why did you decide to look here then?” Ventus’ voice was curious.

“It’s a long story.”

Ventus shrugged. “I’ve got time.”

“This friend...she was born in Castle Oblivion. She lost her form, but her heart was being protected by someone else for a while. Now she’s gone and we don’t know where to find her. I thought since she was born here, we might find a clue. But there’s been nothing.”

Ventus was quiet for a moment, thinking it over. “Maybe she’s closer to home than you think,” he said at last.

“What makes you say that?” asked Roxas.

“When I was asleep, my heart was in Sora’s, just like yours. I’d made a connection to his heart years before that though, when my heart was broken by Master Xehanort. He healed me then, so when my heart was separated from my body, I knew that I would be safe with him. 

“I think our hearts seek out places they have strong connections to. Just because she was born here doesn’t mean this is where her heart would want to go. Maybe there’s another place that she had a stronger connection to, and that’s where you’ll find her.”

As Ventus spoke, something clicked in Roxas’ head. Maybe the answer had been right under his nose the entire time, too close to see. As the idea dawned on him, Roxas’ eyes flashed excitedly and Ventus stopped talking. 

“Roxas? You ok?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I just got an idea. I think you’re right. I think I know where to look now. Thanks, Ven!” Roxas took off running back to the stairs, leaving Ven to yell after him.

“Good luck!”

* * *

“I didn’t find anything,” reported Xion, when the three of them met up again at the gates of the castle.

“Not so much as a hair,” said Axel with a sigh.

“I didn’t find anything either, but I’ve got another idea.” Quickly, Roxas explained Ven’s idea to them. 

“If he’s right, and hearts are attracted to places where they have stronger emotional ties, there might be a place we’re more familiar with that we can look–”

“Twilight Town!” exclaimed Xion. 

Roxas nodded. “Exactly.”

“Sounds like as good a plan as any,” said Axel. “Feels kind of weird to be going home so quickly, though.”

“With any luck, we’ll find something there. If not…” Roxas wasn’t ready to admit he had no idea what to do next if they didn’t. 

“We’ll figure it out.” Xion gave him a reassuring smile. “I want to find Namine just as much as you do.”

“I should probably apologize to her for all the stuff she went through when the Organization had their hands on her,” said Axel. “Don’t worry Roxas, we’re in this with you.”

Roxas couldn’t help but grin. “Thanks, guys.” A new resolve rushed through him, energizing him with his friends’ faith. 

Next stop, Twilight Town.


	3. Bonus #1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! This is not a new chapter, just a little bonus scene. I originally wrote it to go at the start of chapter 2 but since it really didn't have anything to do with Roxas I ended up cutting it. Chapter 3 is in the works, I've just been super busy with school the past week so I haven't been able to work on anything else much. Hopefully I can have it up within the next week or so!

Ienzo was making last minute adjustments on the computer while Even and Ansem the Wise flipped through their notes and talked in hushed voices to each other. So it was up to Riku to sit next to Kairi while she waited. She didn’t say much, but Riku could see her eyes darting from side to side, and the deep breaths she kept taking to keep herself calm.

“Hey. You’re going to be fine, ok?” He leaned down to look in her eyes. “Ienzo knows what he’s doing.”

“Heh.” Kairi let out her anxiety in a quick breath. “I know. I just can’t make my mind quiet down. I’m not scared–not very scared, anyways. I’m just worried that it’s not going to work. What are we going to do if we don’t find anything?”

“Then we’d be no worse off than we are now. If we find something, great. If not, we try something else.” Riku squeezed her hand comfortingly. 

Kairi finally smiled. “You better not get up to anything too crazy while I’m asleep. I don’t want to be left out of the fun again.”

Riku grinned back. “That’s the Kairi I know.”

Ienzo finally stopped fussing with the computer and came over. “It’s time. Are you ready?”

Kairi nodded. “Ready.”

Riku let go of her hand and stood up. “Ienzo will call me if anything happens. And I’ll come visit. I’ll see you again before you know it.”

“Thanks, Riku.”

“One…two…three.” Ienzo pushed a button, and Kairi’s eyes fluttered shut. Her body relaxed entirely, her head falling to the side softly. She was asleep.

“Call me if _anything_ happens. Got it?” Riku fixed Ienzo with a piercing stare. Not that he doubted him, but it never hurt to be serious.

Ienzo took the stare unflinchingly. “Of course. We’ll begin our analysis immediately.”

Leaving Kairi in the hands of the scientists, Riku left the lab. To be honest, he didn’t know if this plan would really result in anything that could lead them to Sora, but Kairi had been so desperate that he’d agreed to try. 

For now, it was time for him to do his part. Riku pulled his gummiphone out of his pocket and dialed the King. The call was answered after the first ring.

“Riku? Is that you?” Mickey’s ears nearly filled the entire screen.

“It’s me. Listen, I’m going to talk to Cid and the others and then I need to visit some other worlds. Can I borrow the gummi ship?”

“Gosh Riku, it’s not a problem with me, but I let Roxas take the gummi ship and I don’t know when he’ll be back.”

“Roxas?” Riku stared at his phone. “Why did he need it?”

“He didn’t say. Just that it was very important.”

 _Namine_ , Riku realized immediately. _He’s going to find Namine._ That little…he couldn’t have waited ten minutes to talk it over and come up with a plan? When it came to recklessness, Roxas and Sora were exactly the same. He let out a deep sigh. 

“Alright. Do you have another ship I might be able to take?”


	4. Chapter 4

As the gummi ship landed in the plaza of the sandlot , Roxas couldn’t suppress the frisson of anticipation that was coursing through him. Thanks to Ven, he was sure he was on the right track now. 

“Should we split up again?” asked Xion, looking to Roxas for directions. 

It would be faster, Roxas knew, but for some reason he didn’t say yes. “Why don’t we just walk around together? There’s only a few likely places where her heart might go, we can just go together.”

“Sounds good to me,” said Axel. Together, the three of them circled the market common, followed the tram tracks to Sunset Terrace, and even toured through the underground station, carefully checking every nook and cranny. But just like in the Land of Departure, there was nothing.

The more ground they covered, the more Roxas’ wild hope sank. The only likely place left was the clock tower, but when Xion suggested it Roxas only nodded. He trailed behind the other two as they climbed Sunset Hill, lost in his thoughts.

After the defeat of Master Xehanort, Roxas, Axel, and Xion had made Twilight Town their permanent home, along with Isa. They occupied a small but comfortable place not far from Roxas’ old hangout spot with Hayner, Pence, and Olette. Since then he had walked the quiet, sun-bathed streets countless times, with and without Xion and Axel, but he had never had such a strong feeling of being alone.

He had been so sure they would find something in Twilight Town–if not Namine herself, a hint, a clue, anything that would push them forwards. Ven’s logic had seemed so right. Wouldn’t Twilight Town be the place that Namine had the most emotional connection to? Roxas couldn’t understand what he was missing. 

The trio turned a corner, beginning the climb up Station Heights. Roxas had only taken a few steps up the hill when he lifted his head to look up the street. There was something about this street that unsettled him. He had walked up and down this street nearly every day with Axel and Xion, but now there was a shadow that lay over the cobblestones that he couldn’t identify. 

And then the memory came back to him, so strongly he stopped in his tracks. Axel and Xion, who had continued on, turned back.

“Roxas? What’s wrong?”

Time had stopped. The street was empty, and Namine was standing in front of him, her head tilted slightly to the side. Her lips moved soundlessly, but he knew the words she was saying.

_ I wanted to meet you, at least once.  _ Those were the first words she had said to him, in the virtual Twilight Town. Those seven fake days that had still left him with all too real memories. Roxas didn’t know if his memories of those days counted or not. Maybe none of it had really happened. Sometimes it felt like he was the only one who remembered Namine at all, and other times he wondered if he’d just made her up inside his head. 

“Roxas?”

Axel’s voice broke through the daydream. Roxas blinked, and Namine vanished. When he opened his eyes again, he saw Axel and Xion standing in front him looking concerned. “Are you ok? You just stopped.”

“I’m fine. I was just...remembering something.” Had that vision been a clue? Was it Namine’s heart calling out to him from somewhere in Twilight Town? Or was it just a wisp of a memory that he was desperately clinging to, trying to convince himself he’d find her?

As he’d expected, upon reaching the clock tower plaza there was nothing. Roxas stood craning his head upwards, willing himself to sense something.  _ I wish I could have brought Namine here _ , he thought. Now that he thought about it, he didn’t know if Namine had ever been to the clock tower. He had only ever seen her in the town itself and...

It was no good. He heaved a sigh and turned to Axel and Xion, who were watching him with concern. “I guess I was wrong.” He tried to make himself smile. 

“Roxas…” Xion moved towards him, concern on her face, but Roxas turned away.

“There’s one more place here I want to look. But I want to go by myself, if that’s ok with you two. I’ll meet you back at the ship.” Without waiting for their answer, Roxas trudged off back down the hill by himself.

It had been a long time since he had gone to the Old Mansion, but the forest path seemed open itself before him. The gate was closed but unlocked, and Roxas pushed it open easily. 

The air inside was still, and his footsteps echoed loudly through the foyer. There was only one place he really wanted to see. The White Room sat quietly, untouched since Namine had been there last. Drawings still covered the walls and table, rustling when the breeze came through the window.

Roxas crossed the room to the picture of himself and Axel. He remembered too, the conversation he’d had with Namine in this very room. How she had finally told him the truth, when nobody else would. How he knew he could trust her after that. The one time in his short life that someone had been honest with him.

A particularly strong gust of wind came through the window, setting all the drawings to rustling. With a dry rasp, the drawing of Roxas and Axel was wrenched off the wall. Roxas ran to pick it up and set it down gently on the table before pulling the window shut. Namine might want to keep that drawing when she came back. 

At the door, Roxas turned to look back at the White Room. Yes, he thought. Namine  _ would _ come back to see this room one day. He was going to make sure of that. 

* * *

Axel and Xion were waiting at the gummi ship when he made his way back to the sandlot. He answered their curious faces with a single shake of his head. Axel let out his breath. “Well, there goes that idea. What next?”

“I don’t know,” Roxas had to admit. “If Ven’s idea was wrong, I don’t know where to go next. I don’t know anywhere else Namine was attached to.”

“Well, then you know what we have to do now,” said Axel.

“No, I don’t. What do we do now?”

“We search every world that we can think of,” said Axel, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Didn’t we do that when we were looking for Xion?”

Xion nodded. “We talked it over while you were gone. It sounds crazy, but if it’s the three of us, we can do it. And even if we search a hundred worlds and don’t find her...at least we’re narrowing down the list.”

“You guys…” The words of gratitude he wanted to say were stuck in his throat. Roxas knew that Axel and Xion would do anything for him, but hadn’t thought they would go this far for Namine. 

“Should we get some ice cream before we go?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm sorry for such a long wait between updates, I was ridiculously busy over the last three weeks. As a result this chapter is a bit rushed, but I really wanted to post an update before the end of the month and show that I'm still working on this story. There was a lot more that I wanted to include in this chapter but I left it out so I could post something. I may rewrite this chapter later, but before that I'm going to work on the next chapter. Until then!


	5. Chapter 5

Agrabah.

Neverland.

The Kingdom of Corona.

_ Where are you? _

Olympus.

Enchanted Dominion.

_ What am I missing? _

Halloween Town.

Port Royal.

_ Help me, please. Tell me where you are. _

Dwarf Woodlands.

Wonderland.

The Land of Dragons.

_ Namine… _

Inside the gummi ship, Roxas sat with his head on the dashboard. It was the end of the line. There just wasn’t anywhere  _ else _ to go. He had to accept it: whatever happened to her after Kairi’s heart and body had been shattered, wherever she had gone, Namine was somewhere he couldn’t reach. 

He knew Axel and Xion were watching him, not knowing what to say. He didn’t want to turn around and see their sympathetic faces. He wasn’t ready, and he was afraid that if tried to say anything, he’d just snap. It wasn’t their fault they hadn’t found Namine, and Roxas didn’t want to lash out at them. Even so, there was something dark and heated that he could feel deep inside him, and it was growing more gnarled and twisted the more he tried to hold himself together. 

“Roxas…” Xion’s voice sounded distant, vague and unimportant.

“Just give me a minute, Xion,” said Roxas, his head still buried in his arms. 

“Roxas, there’s still one last place we haven’t tried.”

Roxas screwed his eyes shut against her words. He didn’t want last minute hope, not again. “Where?” he asked, his voice muffled.

“Destiny Islands.”

Destiny Islands...Sora’s home world. Roxas had never seen it for himself, but he’d seen it through Sora’s memories, and felt it when he had returned to Sora’s heart. But why would Xion think Namine would be there?

“Namine is Kairi’s Nobody, remember? Destiny Islands is Kairi’s home too. It’s the last place she might have a connection to.” 

Roxas had stopped believing in that theory five or six worlds ago, but he pushed the sharp words that rose to his lips back down and lifted his head. He took a long breath. Then he turned to face Axel and Xion.

“Alright. We’ll go to Destiny Islands. And then we’ll go home.”

* * *

The sunset glimmered scarlet and gold over the sea as Roxas sat on the shore of Destiny Islands, his knees drawn up and his head resting on his forearms. The evening was still balmy, but Roxas felt that the dying light was snatching the warmth from his body along with it with every passing moment. 

As he’d expected, there was no sign of Namine here either. Somehow it hurt even more to be here without her, because he had never known Destiny Islands without Namine.

Here, among the gentle briny breezes and verdant foliage, he had been content, if not happy, to stay in Sora’s heart. He had been content, because whenever Sora and Kairi were together on the islands, Roxas could sense Namine’s heart nearby as well. It was a soft, comforting glow that reached him even in the depths of Sora’s heart. And when he felt it, and knew she was there, he had been happy. When he felt Namine’s heart, he knew he wasn’t alone. For that short period of time, when he had been on the Destiny Islands with Sora, and by extension, with Namine, the islands had felt like home.

Now, on Destiny Islands without Sora, without Kairi, without Namine, the beach was alien to Roxas. The ocean spray was too salty, and the summery breeze chilled him. There was no point in staying any longer. It was time to go back to Twilight Town. It was time to go back to his real home.

It was time to give up.

The thought was bitter though, and Roxas hesitated to stand up and signal that it was time to go. The sun was dipping lower into the ocean and the tide was coming in, almost lapping at his shoes. He knew he ought to move, but with every second that ticked by he found himself unable to get up. He felt infused with something heavy and leaden, and even the thought of lifting his head was strenuous.

The light touch of a hand on his shoulder only slightly surprised him, and he turned to see Xion settled herself on the beach next to him. She didn’t say anything at first, just watched the play of the sunset on the water.

“She’ll be ok, you know.”

“What?”

“Namine. I know you’re worried about her. But she’ll be ok.”

Roxas envied the certainty in Xion’s voice. It had been a long time since he had been that sure of anything. “How do you know?”

“Because of the way you look when you think about her. You get this look on your face, like you’d tear down anything in your way to find her.” Xion laughed softly and looked up at the sky. “You’ll find Namine, because you’ll never let yourself stop until you do.” Her eyes met his. “Just like how you saved me. How you saved Axel. We wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you.”

“I know, but– “ Roxas’ words spilled out in a rush. “That was..easy. You and Axel didn’t need me. You’re strong, Xion. Axel is strong. You both fought the Organization in your own way. You could have broken free in your own way. We didn’t overcome the Organization because of me, we did it because all three of us worked together and believed in the strength of our bond. Now it’s just up to me...and I don’t think I’m strong enough on my own.”

A small smile crossed Xion’s lips again. “Namine is strong too, Roxas. Why don’t you trust in her to keep fighting on until you find her?”

Roxas fell silent as Xion’s words echoed in his head. Of course, Namine was strong. It was something he’d always known, but had somehow forgotten. Namine had never turned away from heavy burdens or difficult paths. Suddenly Roxas was ashamed at himself for letting himself sink into this pit of hopelessness. Wherever she was right now, Namine would be staying strong; he didn’t have time to sit around feeling sorry for himself. 

He stood up and helped Xion to her feet. “Xion...thanks. I needed to hear that.” He hugged her tightly, hoping it would express his gratitude more than just the simple words.

She hugged him back, then pulled away with a grin. “That’s the Roxas I know. Now come on, Axel’s waiting.”

* * *

“Are we still going back to Twilight Town?” asked Axel once they were all seated in the gummi ship again.

“Yeah...we don’t have any more leads. Plus, the King probably needs this ship back at some point.” Roxas ran a hand through his hair sheepishly. “Let’s go home.”

_ But only for now _ , he thought to himself as he opened a gate with his Keyblade.  _ I haven’t given up on you, Namine. I just need a little longer to figure things out. And then we’ll go back to Twilight Town together.  _

_ Wait for me.  _


	6. Chapter 6

_ One Week Later _

Xion opened her eyes slowly, blinking as her surroundings came into focus. She was in her bed at home in Twilight Town. The warm glow of Twilight Town’s eternal sunset was shining softly through her curtains. She sat up in bed and stretched before slipping out of bed to get dressed.

“Good morning,” she said with a yawn, rubbing her eyes as she entered the kitchen. Normally at least one of the others would already be up and sitting at the table, but today it was empty. Perplexed, Xion stepped into the hallway to see the front door was wide open, but partially obscured by a tall figure.

“Axel?”

Axel was leaning against the open doorway with his arms crossed, looking down the street with his brows knitted. He looked over his shoulder at the sound of Xion’s voice. “Oh. Morning, Xion.” He smiled gently.

“What are you doing?”

“Roxas just went out. Said he wanted to be alone again.”

“Oh.” Xion dropped her gaze. Roxas had been acting like this ever since they gave up the search for Namine. Hayner, Pence, and Olette had come by twice to see him, but he’d turned them away. He didn’t want to go to the clock tower with her and Axel, nor did he want ice cream. All he did was go out walking by himself. He left early in the mornings and didn’t come back until evening. Xion had asked if she could go with him, but he had politely but firmly refused.

It hadn’t been easy for Roxas when they came back to Twilight Town. After returning the gummi ship to the King, he’d gotten an earful from Riku for running off on his own and not telling anyone. “I know that you’re worried, but making rash decisions like that isn’t going to help,” he’d said. “We’ve got enough to worry about without worrying about you too.”

“Why not? Nobody else was doing anything,” Roxas muttered sullenly. “You’re all too busy trying to find Sora.”

Riku had to take a deep breath to calm himself before replying. “Yes, we are. But that doesn’t mean we’ve forgotten about Namine. If anything, finding Sora could help us find her too, and–”

“Why should Namine have to wait?” Roxas burst out. “Why isn’t anybody doing  _ anything _ for her? What makes Sora more important than her?”

“It’s not a matter of importance, it’s–”

“Forget it.” Roxas jerked his head to the side abruptly. “I’m back now, and I’ll stick around like you want. Tell me when you’re ready to help someone other than Sora.” He stormed out after that, and shut himself up in his room for the rest of the day.

“Roxas…” Xion joined Axel at the door and looked down the warm cobblestone streets they had all come to love. The street was empty; Roxas had obviously long gone.

She looked up at Axel, who was still standing with his arms folded, his face set as if he was thinking hard about something. Xion didn’t know if Axel would have the answers or not, but he was the only one who she felt she could ask.

“Axel...what do you think’s gotten into him?”

“Hm?” Axel looked down at her. “What do you mean?”

“I mean...something seems different about the way he thinks about Namine. I know he’d do the same thing for us, if either of us ever went missing again. When we were on the Destiny Islands, I thought that’s why he was so focused on getting her back. But seeing what he’s been like ever since we came home, there’s something different about him. He seems distracted, like he’s always thinking about her. He gets so angry when people get in his way, the way he did in the Organization. I don’t understand what’s different.”

Looking down into her concerned eyes, Axel had to smile. “Heh.” He leaned down and put a hand on Xion’s head, ruffling her hair. “Don’t worry, Xion. Nothing’s different about Roxas. I think he’s just going through some things for the first time and doesn’t know how to handle them yet.”

“What kind of things?”

“Just a little something called love.”

* * *

The call came a few weeks later, when Roxas was sitting on the front step watching the sun set. He still didn’t feel ready to be around the others, and he hated it. He didn’t understand why, but he didn’t want them there while Namine continued to be so present in his thoughts. On the other hand, he missed his best friends. 

_ Something’s seriously messed up in my head _ , he thought to himself.  _ All I can think about is Namine and I don’t want to be near my best friends, but I can’t forget her and I want them to comfort me. And for some reason I can’t say any of this out loud, so it just spins around and around in my head until it’s all tangled up worse than ever. What’s happening to me?  _ He closed his eyes against the cool evening breeze, willing it to wash over his heart and quiet his whirling mind.

Instead, his thoughts were shattered by the bright jingle of a phone ringing. “Yo, Roxas.” Axel was standing behind him, holding up Roxas’ gummiphone. “You left your phone in your room. It’s been ringing for like ten minutes now, I think someone really wants to talk to you.” He handed Roxas the phone.

“Thanks, Axel.” Roxas touched the screen to answer the call. “Hello?”

Ienzo’s face appeared on the screen. “Not answering my calls, Roxas?”

Roxas flushed. “No. Sorry. I just didn’t have my phone with me. What is it?”

“I’ll make it quick: Kairi’s awake. We found something in her memories, and she’s just finished telling us some information that I think you’ll find very interesting. It’ll be better if you hear it from her though, so we’re sending the ship for you. We’ll see you at the lab soon.” And with that, the screen went dark. 

Roxas’ fingers were tingling as he put the phone down. Was it information about Namine? Had Kairi maybe found a memory about her buried deep in her heart? There was only one way to know. 

* * *

Back under the fluorescent glare of Ansem the Wise’s lab, Roxas was trying once again to take in Kairi’s words. Despite only just waking up a few days ago, she had just come back from a trip to another world with Riku, who had apparently stayed to go on to yet another world in an attempt to locate Sora. Ansem the Wise, Ienzo, and Vexen had let Roxas and Kairi speak privately, which Roxas was grateful for. He didn’t want or need the scientists hanging over him while they talked. 

“At the end of my memories was a world of endless sea and sky,” Kairi was saying. The Final World is what the Fairy Godmother called it. I met a version of Master Xehanort there, because he was part of my memory. But I also met a heart there. A girl’s heart.”

“Namine?” Her name fell from Roxas’ lips automatically, still hoping against hope.

Kairi shook her head. “No. Not Namine. It was a girl I’ve never met before. She didn’t even tell me her name. This girl was from a place called Quadratum. It’s a world that exists on the other side of ours–Ansem called it unreality. She had her physical form taken from her, but her heart was strong enough to hold on and stay in the Final World, instead of passing on. And there were so many other hearts there too.”

_ So many others.  _ “Did you–”

Kairi shook her head again, anticipating his question. “No. Sora wasn’t one of them. And I didn’t feel Namine either. But if that girl could do it, Sora and Namine could do it. They must be hanging on out there, somewhere. We know it’s possible now.

Roxas knew she was right. And this proved another thing: that there  _ were _ more worlds out there. 

Riku had warned him about making rash decisions, but Riku wasn’t here, and Roxas wasn’t about to let this opportunity go. He knew what he needed to do.

“Thank you for telling me this, Kairi. I’m glad to know that you’re a step closer to finding Sora, truly.”

Kairi nodded in acknowledgement. “I know. And Riku told me about what you were doing for Namine. He wants to help too, he really does. He cares about Namine just as much as you do.”

The memory of his heated words came back to him then, and Roxas had to look away in discomfort. “Did he tell you what I said?”

“Yes. But I told him you had a point too. You know how he is about Sora, though.”

Roxas put his hands in his pockets and sighed. “If you see him again before I do, do me a favor and tell him I’m sorry for saying what I said. I didn’t mean it. I was just upset.”

Kairi smiled. “Sure thing, Roxas.”

“Thanks again, Kairi.” Roxas turned to go, but turned back at the door. “Actually, there’s one more thing you might be able to help me with. Do you know where I might find the Fairy Godmother?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second to last chapter here! I love writing brooding Roxas, so I'm glad we got him back in this chapter. What's going to happen in the last chapter? Will Roxas finally sort out his feelings? Will he find Namine? Just one more chapter and we'll find out!


	7. Chapter 7

_ An endless world of sea and sky _ …

_ An infinite horizon, unreachable in the limitless distance… _

_ The edge of reality, the final boundary… _

_ There’s nothing else beyond this. _

_ This...is The Final World. _

* * *

Roxas opened his eyes.

The unending blue of The Final World stretched beyond him in all directions. It was silent, except for his own breathing and the soft splashes his shoes made on the mirror surface of the sea. To somebody else it might have been an unnerving silence, but somehow, Roxas felt strangely calm. All the worry and stress he’d felt since Namine had disappeared drained away from him, and as he stood looking up at the sky he let out a long breath. For the first time in months, Roxas felt at peace.

“ _ Roxas… _ ”

Roxas’ head snapped up, then right and left. He was sure he’d heard it. A girl’s voice, calling his name. Namine’s voice, calling his name.

“Namine?” He called back. The mirrored void swallowed his call. “Namine! Are you there?” He cried out again. “It’s me, Roxas! Where are you? Tell me where you are!” The echoes of his voice died quickly, but not before something had heard him.

“ _ My heart...stars... _ ” the words came in fragments, rushing in and out like the tide. Her voice was no more than a whisper, but Roxas clung to it with all his strength. He knew he wasn’t imagining it. He’d found her. Somewhere out in this vast plane, was Namine. 

That was when he saw them. A field of glittering stars sitting on the water, twinkling slowly in the light. Each star was nothing more than a collection of sparkles revolving slowly, a cluster of light given the barest of form. A low but steady murmuring was rising from them, just barely audible. He stepped closer, wary at first. As he got closer, the white noise of thousands of murmurs refined themselves into discrete whispers that Roxas could hear clearly when he stood directly next to a star. 

The stars paid him no mind as he walked among them, gliding automatically out of his way. They seemed intent only on expressing their own laments and regrets, letting their words drift aimlessly into the sky. 

Roxas had no idea where to go. In this featureless space, he couldn’t even tell if he was walking in a straight line or not. But he started walking. There was something inside him he couldn’t explain, an inexplicable magnetic force that directed his footsteps, first one way, and then another. Something told him not to think too much about it, to simply trust his heart.

His heart had led him to one of the many star-shaped hearts that filled the world; but this one was broken, only a single point of a star. Its twinkling seemed weaker to Roxas than the other stars around him, and there was no voice issuing from it. Curious, he bent down to touch it.

At once, he was enveloped again with that strange sense of calm, that peaceful white light that felt like warm hands on his. As he stood up with the star fragment in hand the feeling dimmed, but he could still feel it emanating faintly from the light. There was no mistaking that light for anything else. He’d found Namine’s heart.

_ “Line up...pieces…”  _ Namine’s whisper spoke to him again, a cool breeze in his ear. “ _ Just follow...heart…”  _

Roxas nodded. “Don’t worry, Namine. I know what to do.” He looked out over the sea of hearts. That magnetic feeling was pulling him again, and now he thought he knew what it meant. Following his heart, he collected the four other points of the star. Arranged together, there was only one piece missing; the central core of the star. 

But after finding the last point, the pull in his heart had stopped. Roxas didn’t have to look to know that it meant there were no more pieces of her heart out there. He looked down at the incomplete star in frustration. He was so close. Namine was right there. How could the last piece be missing?

And then he heard it. The sound of glass, musically shattering. A rush of air like a blissful sigh. And then a light, emerging from his own chest. An orb that he could fit in the palm of his hand, glowing with a soft white light. Roxas could feel its warmth in him as it passed through his skin. It hung in the air in front of him for a moment, before floating from his chest to the empty, inviting space in the star. 

A blinding light burst from the star. Roxas had to shield his eyes from the glare, his jacket fluttering out behind him in the wake of the blast. It lasted for all of a few seconds. The light slowly faded away. As Roxas lowered his arm and opened his eyes, he thought he saw the hazy outline of someone standing in front of him. He blinked. The outline of a girl in a white dress.

“Hello, Roxas.” She smiled.

“Namine…” She looked exactly as he remembered her, the same white dress, light blonde hair, and eyes like a summer sky. The same gentle smile. Roxas reached his hand out. Further. Further. His hand touched her face. It was warm under his fingers. Her hair brushed against his hand softly. She was there. She was real.

“Namine,” he whispered again, still half in disbelief. “I–”

“You found me,” she said, and Roxas pulled her to him tightly, holding her in his arms like he would never let her go. He felt her face smiling against his chest, and had to smile himself. All his worry and fear released itself in that smile, and he let out a soft, relieved laugh. Hearing him, Namine giggled too, and Roxas laughed harder, until they were both laughing until they cried. 

Namine pulled herself away to reach up and wipe the tears gently from Roxas’ eyes. “Sorry,” he said hastily, suddenly self-conscious again. “I was just so happy to see you again. You don’t know how hard it was–”

“I do know,” she said softly. “I was with you, watching over you. I know how much you struggled. How much you hurt. I wanted to tell you, so many times, to just stop. But you always kept going.”

The way she said it, as if his determination had been unexpected, stung. Not because he thought she doubted him, but because she doubted herself being worth saving. “I couldn’t leave you alone, Namine. Not after everything we’d been through.”

“Heh.” Namine looked away, her eyes looking far off into the distance. “After all this time, I’d always thought there would never be anyone who really wanted me around for me. I was expendable–never supposed to exist, meant to rejoin the darkness eventually. Even now, when Kairi’s heart was shattered, and I was broken along with her...I thought it was just my fate.” She turned to look into Roxas’ eyes again, a wistful smile on her face. “But I think maybe deep down, I wanted to live. I wanted to be my own person. I could have given up, once my heart was broken, and moved on to whatever lies beyond this world. But the remaining core of my heart found yours instead. Because I wanted to live...and I knew that you’d keep me safe.”

There was a circle of light beginning to glow around their feet, throwing up stars and sparkles with glittering trails. Roxas recognized the Fairy Godmother’s magic. She must have sensed that he had found Namine and was preparing to bring them back. But before that happened, Roxas had one thing he wanted to say to Namine alone, with nobody else around. One declaration for her ears only, something he’d come to realize over the months of his search for her.

“Namine…” Roxas took her hand in his. “You don’t ever have to worry about being alone again. Or being wanted. I want you, Namine. For as long as we have. Are you ok with that? With me?”

She looked up at him and nodded, her clear blue eyes shining in the magic glow. “More than anything.”

Seeing her brilliant smile, Roxas knew his struggle had been worth it. As the flash of the magic blinded him to his surroundings, he squeezed Namine’s hand to remind her he was there, and always would be, at her side. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought this would be the final chapter but I decided the story isn't completely wrapped up yet. I'm not sure when I'll get around to writing it, but I think an epilogue will be in order. But for now, enjoy the last chapter of Roxas' search for Namine!


End file.
